


pretty black heartthrob

by jonocat



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Black!Reader - Freeform, Canon-Typical Violence, Drunken Flirting, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Sexual Tension, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-15 19:14:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11812455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonocat/pseuds/jonocat
Summary: the many adventures of a crazy merc with a mouth and his roommate.





	1. living on the west side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who is going to pay for the broken window?

You weren't sure how this...friendship with this man had actually happened, but all you could tell was that it had happened very quickly.

To be frank, he had collided through your bedroom window one night at two in the morning with a chimichanga in one hand and a bloodied katana in the other. You assumed he thought you would have screamed or left, but that day had ended with a more than shitty shift on your end, so the reality of having some masked man crash into your apartment wasn't as terrifying as it should actually be. You just remembered the fabric of his mask lifting, indicating the man underneath it was in mild shock, and you disappearing back under the covers mumbling something along the lines of "next time, use the fucking door." 

Things between you two just kind of shot off from  there.

It took a good couple looks the morning after to realize what you had just allowed and what had actually happened, and even more time to indulge in the fact that you had basically gotten a new roommate. A chatty, killing roommate. Sure, he was funny and messy and often made no sense, but it became harder and harder for you to kick out the man or be disgusted you had allowed him a place as he had stayed relatively quiet the first week staying with you, leaving during the day and returning--through the door, thank god, late at night as quiet as a mouse. At one point, you had tried to converse with him, starting off with small talk things like "what's your name", and "why the fuck did you crash into my window?". He had remained pretty silent after that one, but the only thing you knew about him was that his name was Wade. The awkward silence between you two had continued a few more days until finally you had grown tired of having what was equivalent to a brick wall when it came to conversation and plopped your ass right beside him on the couch, startling the man to the point where he spilled his slushie all over his legs. Ignoring the mess, you frowned lightly as you tried to figure him out.

"What the fuck, bro! That slushie was free-I didn't even get to taste it!". Your eyes widened at his voice, leaning back slightly as the seemingly menacing man jutted out his lip. Glancing at the red and blue contents slowly slipping down his thighs, you gave a sheepish grin.

"Sorry...It's just I wanted to get to know you." His tone was blunt and bored.

"Why?". Frowning a bit harder, you looked at him quizzically. He seemed so sharp tongued and quick to speak that it seemed odd he was so quiet before.

"Because we're roommates. I barely know anything about you, Wade. Hell, do you even know my name?". Wade's brow screwed together, and he tilted his head in confusion.

"K...Kacie?". Rolling your eyes, you looked at your nails before splaying your hands. "Do I look like a Kacie to you?". Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him shake his head in a 'no' motion vigorously. "Amy." You gave a larger sigh, jiggling your leg around impatiently. Wade watched the fabric of your shorts shift up and down briefly, shaking his head again before biting the inside of his cheek. His gaze kept jumping around from your chest to your legs, but thankfully the mask had prevented you from seeing.

"My name is Y/N. Seriously, were you just gonna room with a complete stranger? I could have been like, an assassin or a coldblooded killer." A scoff escaped his lips.

"You? A killer? I doubt that a lot." He made an up and down motion with his finger. "A stripper, maybe...". A look of shock passed over your face as your jaw opened slightly. What the fuck did he just call you?!

"Did you just--." Wade could practically see the storm of rage brewing inside of you, shaking his hands profusely in front of him in a frantic manner.

"As a compliment, of course! You have a hot bod, you could totally go for a job as a stripper!". Watching your face become almost more infuriated, he rubbed the back of his neck. "You're just pretty, I guess...I-I'm sorry. I was just joking around." He held his breath, watching your expression dull down to a blank one. You let out an exhale before shaking your head, moving stray curls from your face before letting out a bark of a laugh.

"No, no, it's fine. I guess it's just been a while since I've been around someone with my type of humor." Wade nervously laughed with you, tilting his head to the side again.

"You'd have to be pretty filthy minded to have a humor like mine. That, and have died before." You quirked your eyebrows, assuming it must have been more of his "humor."

"But I think we're gonna get along just fine...speaking of which we're out of chimichangas. You should probably refill on that one." He settled back into the couch, eyeing your chest a final time before closing his eyes. If there was an emotion where you felt stupid and happy, he would be it.

You laughed, leaning back onto the couch with him. You noticed his arm had draped around the top of it, but relished the warmth. It felt like his muscles had tensed a little bit. "I'll go shopping tomorrow, Wade."

The two of you reached silence again, only this time it was comfortable. Maybe it wasn't so bad to have this crazy man for a roomie after all. 

"...I mean, it doesn't even have to be stripping. You could be a sex model for sure, you have the body for it." 

"If you don't shut the fuck up, I'm kicking you out."

 


	2. red rum

Seven days, five hours, and a shit ton of minutes and seconds.

 

Don't ask Wade how he knows... _of course_ he wasn't keeping track of time. It wasn't like he wasn't watching his roomie's every move, or favorite food, or how she brushes her hair and curses every time she finds a kink and yanks a little on her brush. It's not like he's been paying attention to when she gets off her job as a waitress, or that the cafe she works at opens at eight in the morning sharp. Biting his tongue, he watched your hips sway lightly to some song blasting through your headphones, chocolate hands skimming across the kitchen counters absentmindedly before muttering what he believed was a pancake recipe under your breath.

Damn, you had struck him hard.

And yes, you had done it in a weird mixture of sexually and emotionally capturing his attention. He would be lying if he didn't find you extremely attractive--then again, it was a blur between him trying to squint in the darkness and blink through the glass shards digging into his flesh.

Who was he kidding, you were fucking hot.

He wasn't sure what to say when he first saw you, but he was beyond grateful he was able to see you and not the other way around. Your skin, contrasted by the bright white tank top that was plastered to your skin, had rolled up a little when you had lifted to a sitting position. He about lost it when he caught sight of the hem of your panties, sending his mind reeling to the point where he had no idea what to say. When he had figured out that you weren't going to throw him out, he was sure this was the beginning of some dream porno his mind had manifested. A cruel joke...maybe some son of a bitch pranked him.

As your head thumped back against your pillow, he realized it wasn't.

"Yo Wade, do you want some pancakes?". Blinking rapidly, Wade rubbed his eyes before rubbing his legs together. Why was it so hard to not be...well hard around you? You hadn't even said anything suggestive or leaned over and yet his hormones had decided to rear its ugly head like he was some prepubescent teenager.

"Fuck yeah. I haven't eaten since like, Tuesday." He heard you let out a loud snort.

"Wade, it is Tuesday. I literally watched you gorge down a bowl of chocolate ice cream in like, two seconds flat." Something fluttered deep in his gut as you tossed a playful smile, walking back over towards his direction. Wade gave a loud gulp as you poked his bicep, jutting out your lip quizzically. "How do you eat so much and stay so fit? I wish I had your secret." Wade's face fell a little as your hand left his arm, lithe fingers poking at your stomach with a somewhat disapproving huff. You lifted your shirt a little, pulling at the skin with a tone that flirted across the line of bitterness and comedy. "I mean, look at me. I eat less than you and yet I look like an pear." Sensing his time to input some one liner, he gave a dopey grin.

"A sexy, sexy pear. And besides, I kill people for a living. I have to work out constantly...also a fast metabolism has been my bitch since I hit puberty."

Hearing you giggle again sent his feelings through the roof, and he felt the sudden urge to grab you by the hips and kiss you. "I'm serious, Y/N. You're not fat, you're...you're curvy. Guys like curves." You raised one eyebrow, pretending to be offended.

"Who said I was changing for some guy?". 

"A girl?". Another huff. "No Wade...But that's not the point. How many pancakes do you want?". 

Wade cocked his head, rubbing his chin as if he was thinking of the most important things in the world instead of the number of pancakes he wanted or how your your lips felt against his.

"...Would nine be pushing it?". 

"A little. How about three?". Wade shook his head. "Eight, and no exceptions." You sashayed back to the kitchen, rolling your eyes before tying your hair back up into a messy but glorious bun.

"Two and you still get to live here." Giving a nervous laugh, Wade flounced after you, taking a subtle whiff of your almond smelling hair before peering over your shoulder at the already bubbling batter.

"I guess that would work too." The merc with a mouth had really understood in that moment while indulging your laughs and smiles and sarcasm that he was dealing with something even more scary and dangerous than any of his missions, or even facing death.

Love.


	3. how was i to know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not everything was a joke to wade.

"What are you listening to?". You opened your eyes, glaring a little at the person who had yanked the side of your headphones to the side. 

"You do know that you shouldn't just go and do that to people, Wade. Besides", you muttered, flipping the headphone back over your ear. "What's it to you?". Wade shrugged, wrapping his arms slowly around your waist as if to test the waters. At this point, you had become so familiar with his presence and quirks (at least most of them) that the action didn't bother you anymore. Leaning your neck away from him, you wriggled around in his grip before checking your phone lazily.

"Is it wrong that I just want to know what my roomie is listening to? What happened to the whole bonding thing?". Nuzzling behind your ear, he whined quietly as you finally unraveled from his hold. Maybe he'd get you to stay in it another time. "It's not like you're hiding anything from me, is it?". Chortling, you stashed your phone underneath the hem of your shorts, letting out a long yawn.

"Sure, Wade. I'm actually a secret FBI agent who's listening to all of your conversations and sending them to the government." "Ooh, a sexy agent! Damn, I really hit gold with this one." A laugh, or rather snorted laugh, escaped your lips as you socked him gently on the shoulder. Wade was never really the one to avoid ever mentioning the first thing on his mind, and it often felt like he was like three different people with the way his speech changed from each passing second. You eyed out the window over his shoulder, standing on your tippie toes to see the sun cascading off to the distance.

"So Wade...do you want to do something tonight?". The laughing on his end abruptly cut off, and Wade's energy perked. 

"Like do a thing, or do the do?". Visibly cringing, you noticed the closeness of your body to his and shoved him away.

"Down, boy. I meant like watch or movie or whatever. Aren't you tired?". Wade's arms circled back around your retreating form, yanking you towards his chest. His chin rested on the top of your poofy hair, nodding softly as he gave a dreamy sigh. To call this man dramatic wouldn't give him justice. "Wadeeee...". You feel him lean more onto you, and you had to pop your heels just to manage to weight placed on you. "You weigh too  much for this shit!". He chuckled, leaning more until he could feel your knees buckle underneath themselves, causing your body to start to fall backward.

"But you're so comfy! And it might be the only time I'll be able to have you underneath me." Sticking your tongue out, you felt yourself flush as Wade's eyebrows wiggled around suggestively. "Don't lie, sweetcheeks. You know you love me." Blinking for a few seconds, you felt your rear plop on the floor and your back soon after as you settled on the ground with a 'oof'. A little irritated that your roommate had refused to get off of you, a small, devilish grin spread across your features as you lifted your hand to his cheek. Wade's body tensed against you, and although you may never admit it, it felt good to get such a reaction from him. 

"...You're right, Wadey." _'Wadey...wow, what the fuck are you doing, Y/N.'_ You pushed the thought from your mind, leaning closer to his mask until all you could hear was his heavy breathing. His jaw kept opening and closing as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Giving a sharp inhale, you pressed your lips chastely to the side of his jaw, smirking as Wade gave a garbled moan from the touch. 

"Y-you really do?". Nodding, your hands reached towards the back of his neck. Just as Wade was about to respond, you gave the hardest push you could to his body, taking him by surprise. Wade let out a yelp, skidding across the floor. Bubbles of laughter erupted from you from his dazed and confused stature, struggling to stand as you covered your mouth.

"Your face...oh my god your face it was fucking priceless!". Silence met your ears, but you were too busy engrossed in your own amusement to hear. "I can't believe you'd just fall for that, holy shit!". Tears formed in the corner of your eyes, and you wiped them vigorously before opening them. "...Ah, come on, don't be a sourpuss, you would have done it to me--."

"Wade?".

Wade was no longer there, and the window was open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm vv sorry i don't like hurting this bab

**Author's Note:**

> please feel free to leave comments (please please do i am thirsty for interaction)


End file.
